As parents, its hard to know what to do and what not to do during the recruiting process. You want to help your child out, but you don’t want to do too much and interfere in the process. Parents, you are just as important in the recruiting process as your child is, but make sure what your child wants is at the forefront of the decisions you make during the journey. Your student-athlete can’t do this on their own, but they can with your support, encouragement and mentorship along the way. Here are my 10 “Commandments” for guidance during the recruiting process.
- Thou Shall Let Your Son Be The Leader
So many times, when I talk to parents and players about the recruiting process, mom, dad, and child all have different plans for the journey to playing college baseball. I challenge you, as parents, to let your child take the reins and let him tell you what he wants. You all want our child to be as successful as possible, and I believe when you let him take the lead, he will grow in ways you never thought he would. In short, don’t be a helicopter parent.
- Thou Shall Help Create The Plan & Help Them Follow It
Parents, you know as well as I do, kids these days are all over the place. They live their days one at a time and don’t think too far into the future with many decisions they make. Rarely are kids taught how to design a plan and stick to it. But you, as parents, have been doing this your whole life. You have a process for everything you do to be as efficient as possible and you know how to stick to those plans. Take this season of life your son is in, trying to find a place to play college baseball, and teach him how to design a plan and stick to it. Don’t make the plan for him, help him, and then encourage him along the way to stick to it. Refine the plan along the way when you make new discoveries.
- Thou Shall Help Them Stay Organized
You have seen their rooms. You have seen their cars. You have seen what “organized” is to them. We would probably tell them their idea of organized is just controlled chaos. Like me, many of you create lists to help you stay on track and stay organized. Staying organized during the recruiting process can be as simple as making a To-Do List. Sit down with your son, once a week/month, and come up with a recruiting To-Do List. Don’t write it for them, but sit down together and make a list of items you want to have accomplished this week/month. You’re teaching them in a round about way to stay organized and prioritize tasks which will help them in the future.
- Thou Shall Help Them Explore Their Options
Your student-athletes have a one-track mind. Just accept and know that (if you don’t already). They’re not considering all their options right out of the gate, they’re wanting to go to their dream school. Realize, its going to be very hard for them to go to the school they have been dreaming about their whole lives. Some accomplish this, most don’t. What a number of players and families don’t realize is there are many schools just like your dream school, you just have to explore ad find those options. There are over 1,600 baseball programs nationwide, and I can promise you, more than ONE is a good fit for your son both athletically and academically.
- Thou Shall Rely On More One Coach During The Process
Parents out there know the power of networking. Right now, your student-athlete may not realize the power of a network and how it can help you achieve your goals. Parents, your should be using the network of coaches in your life to help you do two things. First, ask them for an honest opinion of where your son is at, and second, help you market your son. I am a firm believer in 6 degrees of separation. The theory of six degrees of separation states that, because we are all linked by chains of acquaintance, you are just 6 introductions away from any other person on the planet! Use this theory when you are recruiting. The more coaches you have promoting your child the more people your family can reach as a result.
- Thou Shall Have Realistic Expectations
When you start the journey to playing college baseball, don’t chase the logo. There is way more to playing college baseball then the sweatshirt you wear, and, a lot of times, student-athletes will miss out on amazing opportunities if they don’t have realistic expectations. I tell parents and players not to EXPECT anything in the journey to college baseball because there are so many factors and variables out there. Curb your expectations. Get to know these two percentages. 80% and 20%. Only 20% of College Baseball Players play Division 1 baseball. 80% of College Baseball Players play sub-division 1 baseball. Understand, you are more likely to fall in the 80% then you are the 20%.
- Thou Shall Be Conservative
Parents want to brag, it’s natural to do so when talking about your children. Realize, though, when you are talking to other parents about where your son is in the recruiting process, they are not in the same place. Every path is different. I encourage you to choose a conservative position and not brag or tell many people you are receiving letters, phone calls, offers, etc. unless someone asks. And even then, water down the amount of information depending on the person you are talking too. Understand that everyone is on the same journey to Play College Baseball, and something you say may affect them in a negative way or discourage them or their son. Everyone on this journey rides the Emotional Roller Coaster, so be cognizant of that.
Click here to Read 4 Ways to Navigate the Emotional Roller Coaster
- Thou Shall Be A Mentor
Student-athletes need support and encouragement through this process, and, I believe, this is your biggest of the 10 “Commandments.” Always support them through this process because there are going to be days when they get discouraged or get off track. Use these moments to be a mentor to them, and teach them the value of perseverance and staying the course. These moments will come periodically throughout the process, and it’s your job as parents to keep their head up and encourage them to stay the course. Then, teach them to pay it forward and mentor their friends and teammates around them.
- Thou Shall Let Them Leave Home
We all want our student-athletes to stay close to home. There is nothing wrong with that. We want them to be able to drive home for holidays and off weekends, and we want to be able to travel on the weekends to see them play. BUT, if you are willing to let your student-athlete leave home and go farther from the nest, you are opening up more opportunities for them to Play College Baseball. Realize, too, when you are out of your comfort zone, you grow as a person exponentially!
- Thou Shall Just Be A Spectator At Events
Parents, just sit and watch. Fight the urge to go over to the college recruiter holding the gun while your son is pitching to ask what his velocity is. Coaches don’t want to be bothered at events, they are there working. It’s easy to gravitate toward the coaches, but what is your motive in doing so? Most likely to promote your son, but there’s bias coming from a parent. We all want to promote our kids when coaches are at the events you attend, but there are smarter ways to go about it. Instead of walking up to the coach at the event, I encourage to tell your son after the game who was there and have him send an email to the coach! Let your son do the talking.
Mom and Dad, I know some of these can be hard to follow, but understand the recruiting process will teach your child more life lessons then just finding a place to Play College Baseball. When they see you doing all of the above for them, they are going to BE all of the above.